Switching Lanes


When I was in tenth grade I knew I wanted to be a psychologist. I did everything I was supposed to do to reach my goal. I graduated high school number five in my class. I went to an Ivy League university and graduated as a psychology major. I went to a very expensive university for graduate school. None of that mattered because I never finished graduate school. I was injured at work and I could not attend classes anymore.

I did not let that hiccup stop me. I was resourceful and I transferred to an online program. I decided that marriage and family therapy was the route for me and I worked my butt off. I got through all of the classes and was not able to do the internship. It felt like I hit a brick wall. It was a failure that made me want to curl up in a ball and pretend the world didn’t exist.

Then, I started writing. At first, I just wrote about whatever was going on in my head. Then I realized that all those years of studying relationships and counseling couples had given me a unique perspective. I know things about how relationships work that could be very helpful to other people. That is when I realized that although I would never become a doctor of psychology, I could still share my expertise.

So, I decided to write a book. The book changed many times over the year it took me to write it. The concept of the book stayed the same, but content changed and even the name of the book changed. It is a book for people who keep finding themselves in the wrong relationship. Since I was one of those people, I decided to write a simple book that doesn’t take forever to read. It was an adventure to say the least.

There are so many emotions involved in sharing a part of yourself with the world. I doubted myself to the point where, once I finished the book I wasn’t going to publish it. It took some major encouragement to get me through the publishing process. I wanted to quit almost every day but I didn’t. Now my book is out in the world and I can say I am an author.

It took a serious change in my thinking to get to this place. I had to realize that the dream I had in tenth grade was not going to come true, but that did not mean that I had nothing to offer the world. I had to change my focus and reevaluate my purpose. If you really think about it, all I did was switch lanes. I was on a certain road but there were roadblocks keeping me from my destination. Instead of canceling the trip, I took a detour and wound up somewhere else. There is nothing wrong with that.

If you find yourself in a place where things are not turning out the way you planned, don’t give up. Many people have had to reinvent themselves and most of the time it turns out better for them than their original plan. I have no idea where I am going to end up but I am glad I decided to keep driving.

If you are interested in my book it is called Relationship Carpentry and you can find it on Amazon by following this link: Relationship Carpentry




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