Flashback Friday-A Lack of Control


A Lack of Control-4’14’2009

Control is a laughable concept
The only thing I control
Is how many pills I pop
And whether I eat any food with them or
just let the medication feed off of my intestinal lining

There is no control over
Herniated discs
And contracted muscles
You just wake up hoping today will be a good day

There is no control over the
Snap, crackle and pop
Of my wrist
My shoulder
My neck
My back
My entire body is out of whack
And they don’t make any pills for that
I can’t sleep it off
Or relax it away
There’s no elixir to drink
Or magic words to say
There is no controlling this
It just is what it is

Now being the control freak that I am
I try my best
To put this “no control” thing
To the test
I use a heating pad
I take hot showers
I stretch and I bend
I lay completely still for hours
But none of that makes a difference
When my muscles start to twitch
Then my toes start to tingle
And my nerves start shooting fireballs every which way
There’s nothing left to do
But to sit and pray
Because although
I may be powerless
God is always in control


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