(I intended for this post to be published on Tuesday but somehow I forgot to schedule it. So here it is.)
Welcome to Relationship Tuesdays. This is my space to delve into relationship issues we all deal with but a lot of us just can’t seem to figure out how to get past. I will pick a topic and give you some good information about it. Comments from the peanut gallery are always welcome.
Who are you?
It’s a very simple question but the answer means everything. Last week I talked about being real with yourself. I explained how no relationship can be healthy if the two parties are lying to themselves about who they are. Now that we have stopped telling lies it’s time to take a good look in the mirror.
So how do we answer this extremely important question? I am not going to lead you to believe it is an easy thing to do because it certainly is not. I am not going to tell you it’s going to be fun because sometimes it won’t be. I will tell you that it is absolutely necessary because it is!
If you don’t know who you are you can’t find someone who complements you. If you don’t know who you are you can’t know what you want. As we all know, if you don’t know what you want you will be given whatever the other person wants to give you. You don’t want to be in that relationship.
So how do you come clean?
You have to ask and answer some simple questions. What do you like? Do you like going to the movies or would you rather be outdoors? Do you like quiet nights at home or are you a party animal? Do you relish a heated discussion or would you prefer alternative ways of handling problems?
You need to figure out what moves you and what makes you happy at your core. If you are having problems coming up with answers to these questions you can come at it from a different angle. What don’t you like? Do loud and large crowds bother you? Does slam poetry get on your nerves? Does the thought of reading a book make you sleepy? These are the things you need to know about yourself before you can choose a companion that fits you.
I challenge you to sit down with a piece of paper and a pen and write down these four things. What characteristics do you like in others? What characteristics don’t you like in others? What do you love to do? What do you hate to do? This is just a start but it will help you down the road to learning who you are.
On Thursday, I will be coming clean and giving you an up close and personal look at who I am. Hope to see you there!