Welcome to the first installment of Relationship Tuesdays. This is my space to delve into relationship issues we all deal with but a lot of us just can’t seem to figure out how to get past. I will pick a topic and give you some good information about it. Comments from the peanut gallery are always welcome.
I titled this post “It’s Time To Be Real” because the only way anyone fixes anything is by being truthful with themselves and others. Nothing is more important when it comes to relationships. A healthy relationship cannot be formed between two people who are lying to themselves and each other. If you can’t be real with yourself then you can’t possibly expect to have an honest exchange with anyone else.
What do I mean? Who you are impacts the way you relate to others. If you are lying to yourself about who you are your relationships are going to be screwed up. It’s pretty simple. If you hate musicals, you probably shouldn’t date a Theatre major. If you love the outdoors you are probably not going to be fulfilled with someone who hates hiking, jogging, parks, wildlife and anything outside of the confines of four walls. I know these examples seem simplistic but they are very relevant.
We usually find ourselves in relationships that drive us crazy because we are lying to ourselves about who we really are. An outdoorsman finds himself dating a recluse because he tells himself that her dislike of mother nature is really not that important. Then, he convinces himself that he can find ways to enjoy himself indoors. He is lying to himself and presenting himself as something he is not. It’s no wonder him and his girlfriend find themselves fighting constantly.
Now most of us are more cunning than the outdoorsman. We don’t lie to ourselves about the big things that make us who we are. Instead, we disavow the small things that make up our identity and we do it in ways that are practically unnoticeable.
I will explain exactly what I mean on Thursday using an example from my personal experience.