Soothing the Savage Beast

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You have probably heard the saying “Music soothes the savage beast” before. It is usually referring to a person or animal being calmed by the sound of music. I just found out that music also soothes the savage beast that is my anxiety.

Yesterday I found myself in a predicament. I needed to cook but I did not have everything I needed to complete my meal. This meant that I had to go to the grocery store. As a rule, I do not go places alone because I have had a few experiences where I was hurt and wound up in the hospital. Those experiences have given me a type of post-traumatic stress syndrome (PTSD). My fiance was at work so I was on my own. Just the thought of going out alone makes me anxious. It took me 30 minutes to gather up the courage to leave the house.

I do not drive due to my neck and back injuries so I had to take public transportation. The ride to the store was uneventful. I only had to walk a block from my house and I was taken right to the store. The ride back was a different story. I had to walk four long blocks to get  home.

As soon as my feet hit the sidewalk I could feel my stomach start to churn. A block and a half into the walk I started looking behind me to make sure no one was following me. By then the knot that was in my stomach had made it’s way to my throat. I was on the verge of freaking out. At that exact moment I heard a sound in my ear. I was wearing my headphones but I was not really listening to the music that was playing.

I did not know what song it was but the music sounded familiar. As the song played it registered in my brain that this was a song I loved but had not heard in a very long time. As my brain recognized the song the knot in my throat subsided and my anxiety began to slowly lessen. Before I knew it I was at my front door. A total melt down had been averted by a song.

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