I don’t understand why I am having an issue adjusting to the changes that are happening in my life. I know that change can be difficult but I knew these changes were coming. They were not a surprise. I set myself up for them purposely. At the beginning of the year, I knew 2016 was going to be a year of many changes for me and I embraced the idea of those changes. I even set things in motion to help the changes occur.
Right now, I feel out of whack. These changes are getting the better of me and I don’t like it. Here are some of the things I’ve been dealing with . . .
I have known since last August that I will be getting married this August. Merging two separate individuals into one entity is not an easy thing to do. My fiance will be changing jobs shortly before we get married. This will change his income (for the better) and it will also change our living situation. He will make too much money for us to stay where we currently live so we will have to move. Getting married will also change my income and that will disqualify me from receiving help from the agencies that support me.
My fiance’s new job will require him to travel throughout the week so unless I am able to go with him I will only see him on the weekends. I have known this was coming for months but as we get closer to it, the more anxious I get.
Up until last September, I was taking some very potent prescription medication.
The idea of having a child after I get married put the wheels in motion for me to get off of the medication. I was on six medications total. I am only on two now. It has been a rough journey over the past eight months but I have hung in there and I am proud of myself. This change did not happen overnight. I have been preparing for this for months.
One of the two medications I am still taking is an antidepressant. I am concerned about getting off of it because it helps me sleep and it regulates my mood. It is a medication that would be detrimental to my future baby’s health so I have to stop taking it. I am worried about my own well-being. Now that I am so close to being drug-free I am afraid that I won’t be able to live without the medication.
I have been doing some behavior modification to help me sleep once I am no longer taking the antidepressant. My goal is to start winding down a few hours before bed. I will take a hot shower and maybe drink a cup of tea. I won’t work in bed and the TV goes off after my fiance falls asleep.
I used to take showers before bed as a rule but I don’t do it anymore and my mind is having trouble getting used to it again. I have to talk myself into taking a shower and then I have to drag myself into the shower. It is a serious struggle. I know it’s not a monumental change but it is not easy for me at all. I guess I just have to keep working the plan and see how it goes.
I guess the takeaway here is that change is hard even when you know it’s coming!
Any of you out there having trouble adjusting to change? Please share.