The Pretty Girl Tax

me hair hanging

That right there is a pretty girl! There is no denying it. She knows it. You know it and almost everyone who has ever laid eyes on her knows it (some folks have vision problems).  But, this post is not about how pretty she is. It is about what it costs to be pretty.

A few years ago I was having a conversation with one of my sisters and we were talking about what we call “The Pretty Girl Tax”. There are a set of assumptions some people make when they see a beautiful woman. Some people think she can’t be too bright. I guess it doesn’t occur to them that a woman can have brains and beauty. Some think that she is materialistic and superficial. All she has going for her is her looks and that is all she is concerned about. I am sure there are some women that fit these stereotypes but they are definitely not the pretty women I know.

My issue is when a man is in a relationship with a beautiful woman and his insecurities make him treat her badly. Beautiful women usually attract men and these days women too. When you are pretty people are drawn to you. That is just how it is. Just because people like you that does not mean that you automatically entertain their attention. On more than one occasion I have felt like I was being punished because I got a lot of attention from men. Men that I have dated have accused me of cheating simply because I have been approached my several men on a regular basis.

Now, I am not flirting with these men or even having elongated conversations with them. I usually say “Hi” or “Thank you” and keep it moving but for some men the fact that guys are trying to get my attention is enough to make my loyalty suspect. That is so unfair! First of all, nobody wants someone no one else wants. If no other man ever looked my way you would have kept walking too. The reason you noticed me in the first place is because I am pretty. Once you got to know me you found other things you liked but it all started with what I look like. With that in mind, you cannot expect other men not to notice the very thing that got you interested.

This is a problem because the guy starts to think that if all these men are talking to her and trying to get with her she must be taken in by this and at some point someone is going to get her attention. This idea leads the guy to flirt with and possibly cheat with other women. It leads him to treat his beautiful woman with less respect than she deserves. Ultimately, it leads to a very dysfunctional relationship.

Something that is not taken into consideration is that when men are always trying to get at you, it gets old, quick. When men are constantly in your face (especially when you are happily spoken for) you start to feel like a piece of meat and that is no fun at all. I have had men follow me down the street giving me their resumes (I mean that figuratively) and trying to force their phone numbers on me. That is a headache and an annoyance. Sometimes, you just want to say “Leave me the hell alone!”.

When I lived in Philadelphia it was horrible. Philly men are aggressive. One stranger physically picked me up and tried to carry me away with him. Another stalked my building trying to find out what apartment I lived in. Then there was the guy who walked up to me while I was crossing the street and asked me to have his baby. I can only hope he was joking.

The point I am trying to make is that a pretty girl is going to get propositioned. She understands this and has developed a way a handling it. The guy she is with also needs to accept it and deal with it in a way that does not punish his woman.

So what do you think? Does the pretty girl tax exist or am I just making it all up? I definitely want to hear from some men. Is there a gorgeous guy tax?


me bent down stairs

Still pretty!




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