Losing a loved one is a horrible experience. Sometimes we find it hard to “move on” because we are so distraught. I’m not saying you have to forget your loved one. You don’t have to stop loving them. You don’t have to pretend your world is not disrupted. But there is a difference between disrupted and destroyed.
Disrupted means you are off course while destroyed means you have given up. Death is not a punishment. It is a part of the human experience. It sucks but it is the truth. When you let yourself die inside over the passing of a loved one, you turn one life lost to two lives lost.
You don’t have to like it. You just have to live through it. You have to move forward. Yes, it is crazy hard and you feel like you are going to die. There is no cure for the pain you feel but there is a balm to make it hurt a little less. The more balm you apply the less it stings. The balm is time. While time does not heal all wounds (at least not in my experience), it does diminish the suffering. It is the suffering that takes you out.
The longer you suffer the harder it is for you to continue living your life. For those of us who believe in God, we have the comfort of knowing that if our loved one believed too they are in heaven with Him. We also know that the Holy Spirit was sent to be our comforter. Even that does not stop the hurt. Nothing will totally take away the pain. Nothing will make everything alright. Nothing will cure your broken heart.
All you can do is live through it. You take it day by day and you live through it. You struggle through the pain and you live through it. You cry, you scream, you stay in bed all day but you don’t allow yourself to get stuck there. You do whatever you have to do so that you can continue to live a productive life.
I do not believe that our loved ones want us to give up on life because they are no longer here with us. I am sure they would want us to live happy, healthy and fulfilling lives. I know that is easier said than done but you take it step by step. Each day you will find that your legs feel a little lighter, your heart is not so heavy and your head feels a little clearer. It is a process but it is not an impossibility. A little ray of hope is all you need to get you started. Yes, you have lost someone you love but you can’t afford to lose you too. So live through it!
Here is a song that greatly influenced this post: Live Through It by James Fortune & FIYA